A Life Less Ordinary

Simple Happiness

by Helen

Right before I moved to Seattle, Adam asked me what I would do to deal with the cold, dreary days (and nights) in the Pacific Northwest.  Well, the last week has been extraordinarily cold - in the high 20s, low 30s - which is unusual for Seattle.  It hasn't been raining as much, but the cold is tough.  Also, the days are really short.  On days when I'm on campus from 8am-5:30pm, I don't see the sun at all.  

So I got to go back to my answer to him from a couple of years ago.  I said I would have a warm house to come home to from a coffee shop, soup simmering on the stove and a happy attitude toward life because everything is well in the world.  I got to live that today.  It was nice. 

I will be even happier in 8 days when I'm on a plane to Belize. 

Midway Through First Quarter

by Helen

Today is the official half way point of the quarter.  I have taken 2 midterms, several quizzes, have submitted way too much homework and have a take home midterm in accounting coming up this week that will surely give me a whole new perspective on how much I don't know. 

I am also finally making friends in the program.  I am definitely seeing progress from saying hello in the class to friendship.  I was just offered a spot on the Study Tour to Kenya for spring break.  I think that will be an awesome opportunity, after I finish calming down my parents about my trip.  

This weekend, Adam and I hosted a Halloween party and a pub crawl in Capitol Hill.  I think the duties divided up in that I came up with the food to serve, Adam came up with dessert and titles of the food that we super creative.  We also borrowed decorations from a friend that really made the place look good.  It was then fun to walk around Cap Hill and see all the activities on Halloween out there. It was no West Hollywood, but pretty cool nonetheless. 

 Adam was a disco king and I was Pippi Long Stocking.  Unfortunately you can't see the striped knee highs in this picture, but they are rainbow colored if that helps. 

Yesterday my wonderful boyfriend treated me to a massage which was very needed and we went to change my tires at Costco because apparently I was a day away from spinning out due to worn out tires.  I guess my car didn't get the memo that I was busy. 

Life is good.  It feels stressful but I'm pretty sure it's self-imposed and unnecessary stress. At the end of the day, school is about learning and not worrying about grades.  I am lucky in that I have a very strong support network formed by Adam, my good friends and family. I don't think anyone is necessarily having an easy time depending on what their situation is or issues they are dealing with, but I know that everyone makes it out better than they started. 

Welcome to Grad School

by Helen

I want to blog. I have so many things, experiences and observations I want to share but there is simply no time. 

I am deep in orientation and I am exhausted every day. From 8am-7pm I go between workshops, lectures, break out sessions, happy hours, etc. I know it doesn't sound rough but it's very time consuming. I never realized how much down time you actually have at work and I had a very busy job! 

So I don't know when I'll get to blogging, but I really want to talk about my new study group, my class, our wonderful apartment and my boyfriend who is a rock, my continued to be hard transition with all the changes in my life (student life, living with a boyfriend life, not being able to read the news or get anything accomplished or so it seems life). I'm not AT ALL complaining, I'm loving the changes, but they are also hard on me. So I am embracing this feeling of having the ground be taken away from under my feet and clearly being suspended and held up in the air by unseen strings. 

Hopefully I won't fall. Clearly the hundreds of thousands of other people who have done this, have managed just fine. 

Lack of Glamour/Fear of the Mundane

by Helen

I think that I lately have been suffering from feeling that my life is unexciting. 

When you've been in a relationship for awhile, it is lovely and wonderful, but it's stable and regular.  There are no crazy fireworks every day.  There are some, don't get me wrong, but not like at the beginning. Additionally, I'm not working, and for better or for worse, my job provided me with lots of excitement and new experiences all the time.  As a result, I feel like I have nothing to talk about.  Sure, there are news happening in the world, but that's kind of far away and removed. We have just moved in to a new apartment and the new area that we are in is fun to explore and try out.  But that keeps me entertained for only short bits of time.  The books I read are good, but not super fulfilling (maybe I should stop reading the Sookie Stackhouse novels).  

I know that with school starting shortly, all these problems will magically go away, but I guess what worries me is that I wonder if this is what life is all about? I have everything I've wanted - a great guy, a great place, friends (though still working on that in Seattle) and at the end of the day, why isn't it just enough? Why can't I just be happy with what I have and not be constantly looking to the next thing? 

I'm really excited about our trip to Belize and Guatamala, but that's not until December.  And I'm excited about school starting.  I hope that after school is done, I will be able to find a job that is fulfilling and have a family and children that will provide me with ample adventures and perhaps hobbies that will continue to make me interesting. My biggest fear is that I either become boring or am bored with my life.  I don't want that to happen and I need to be more proactive about it as opposed to hoping that life is a constant stream of entertainment. 

I know all these people that take comfort in the mundane and sometimes I really wonder why I can't be like that too! 

Decisions for Two

by Helen

In my job for the last five years, I truly believe that I was paid to make decisions.  I usually had to do it fast and often got burned on doing it too fast actually. I prided myself on not being afraid of making a choice and standing by it. 

It's different when you are moving in together because you have to consult with each other before making the final decision. So today and yesterday, I have been calling the cable companies to figure out what the best plan is for TV and internet at our new place.  I also called DirectTV to put in a moving order.  However, all I was really trying to do was collect information, but these sales people really wanted to close the deal right then and there.  I understand the mentality - if they let me get off the phone, I may not come back.  But really - if you are confident in your product, why not let me make a decision on my time table.  

I had a terrible experience with QWEST today for example. I was pretty specific that I was interested in TV and Internet.  Instead the sales rep tried to convince me that I pay too much for my phone...Granted, I pay too much for the privilege of using the IPHONE but QWEST doesn't support the IPHONE so that's a total non starter.  Once we finally went over the options I wanted to talk about, the woman asked if I wanted to place an order.  SoI said I need to think about it and talk to my boyfriend.  After this she proceeded to tell me how much my customer satisfaction is important to QWEST and she would love to give me a $50 VISA gift card if I sign the agreement now.  I told her I am happy to call back when I am ready to make the decision.  I got off the phone feeling gross.  

On the contrary, COMCAST sales person was really nice and calm and put me in a no pressure situation.  Go figure.  

Bottom line is - I think it's good for me to have to consult with someone before I make decisions.  Makes my decisions more sound, even though it is definitely in my nature to just make a decision and move on to the next task (and agonize about it being the wrong decision after that). 

Two Years Later

by Helen

 

Another year has gone by and Adam and I celebrated our two year anniversary on July 31st-August 2, 2009.

On the 31st, we exchanged gifts, went to the Red Mill Burger place, walked around Magnolia Art Fair and watched ferries go by in Magnolia Park (oh and we stopped by a party). On Saturday, we drove out to Long Beach, WA where we stayed at Shelbourne Inn on the Washington Coast and had a great time accompanied with great food.  We came back to Seattle on Sunday refreshed and ready for the big move that's coming up on August 21.

Here is a quick snapshop of all the things we did in year 2:

1. Adam's birthday picnic at Alki Park
2. 2 couples we know got engaged
3. My grandparents visited and we went took them to Alki
4. Evergreen State Fair with corn dogs of course!
5. Weekend in Tahoe with great friends
6. Adam's parents visited
7. We carved pumpkins together - I made a pirate ship and Adam made a Barack Obama pumpkin
8. Great vacation on Kuaui that included a luau, horseback riding, a boat ride, snorkeling, hiking and eating awesome food
9. Shrek the Musical
10. Spring Awakening
11. Teatro Zinzanni 
12. La Reve
13. Play with Adam's parents when they were in town
14. Business school applications
15. Candy Cane Making Party
16. Our first Christmas Tree
17. New Years Party
18. Pet sitting in West Hollywood
19. Allison's Wedding
20. Rachel's Wedding at the Beverly Hilton
21. Eilene and JD's wedding in Las Vegas
22. My birthday in LA - tapas at AOC, drinks at O Bar and dancing
23. Snowboarding in Crystal with Zach and Danielle
24. Quality time in Seward Park
25. Trip to Victoria
26. Cheese festival
27. Valentine's Day at Kaspar's
28. Yellowstone
29. Lewis and Clark Caverns
30. In N Out in a Limo
31. Costumed scavenger hunt in Los Angeles (Adam was dressed as Woody and I was dressed as Barbie)
32. Bruins in Seattle Board, picnic, happy hour 
33. Kayaking to Golden Gardens 
34. Mariners Games
35. Deciding to move in together to a townhome in Capitol Hill!

Thank you for seeing me through a very difficult time in my life of preparing and applying to business schools.  Thank you for helping me get in, for supporting me all the way and for always being a shoulder to lean on.  Though I'm sure it wasn't the easiest of years, here is to hoping to many more together!

Getting a Break

by Helen

It feels like many friends are going through tough times - lay offs, relationship problems, job troubles, health issues, exhaustion from overworking, etc.

It is at these times that I feel very lucky to be in good health, be surrounded by loving friends, boyfriend and family and have a stable job that I will hopefully choose to leave this coming August. 

What I have learned recently is that play time is over and none of us ever get a break. Even if we do, we don't really know it until after.  So the most I can do is make the best of it every day and every minute because frankly, tomorrow will hopefully be better but realistically, it might be worse. 

I know that sounds pessimistic, but I don't think many of us know how good we have it until the moment is past.  So let us embrace every second for what it is, work through the hardships, rely on friends for strength and comfort and find humor in the day when we get caught in the pouring rain without an umbrella.

Work Life Style

By Helen

This is an email I wrote in response to my friend's concern that she and her boyfriend fight over how much she works and what that means in the long term

Dear ****,

I think that you are forgetting that D lives in an academic world and you live in a "high up" government world at best and an executive world at worst.  These different worlds have different work cultures, and it's totally normal.  And chances are, D brings up how much you work to balance you and remind you to keep perspective on how much it is that you put in it.  You likely don't realize half of the time the work that you do and how much time it takes.  It's not a bad thing to have someone give you that perspective as long as they don't make you feel guilty about the things you have to do in order to be successful.

Additionally, I am sure your co-workers mean well, but I think these scares of "you will work all the time during this part of the year," are good things to anticipate, but they shake out just fine.  When you have priorities in your life other than work, you will be able to balance in a way that lets you work remotely, work more efficiently, etc.   But even given all that, if your wish is to work a lot and to work intensely, you can't exactly give that up.

Let me give you an example - Adam works a lot, but he leaves work behind either at his desk or at his office.  And I know that he is working less because I am now here.  I am working way less than I did at the same time in 2006.  In fact I spent half of the time complaining that I am not working enough and am therefore bored.  And my not working enough is just a regular job day that many are totally fine with.  So that brings up all these questions like whether or not I can ever work in a normal job or if I always have to be the crazy one putting in the hours, answering my phone in the middle of the day and night, because that's the only way I feel fulfilled in my work environment.   I can't really turn off when I'm not at work either.  I can't necessarily leave it behind and I know that's frustrating for Adam.

The best thing I can do is recognize that he has a point and remind him that I am still searching for a balance. And he in turn lets me have these couple of weeks where I get to feel important and my phone rings all the time and I have to deal with issues.  (though I do feel guilty for being distracted).

I don't know if this helps, but these are my initial thoughts.

Thank God for Mom

By Irene

Packing the car up for hopefully the last time was sort of like shopping without having to pay for anything. I gathered: canned food, towels, knifes and forks, drinking glasses, a pan, paper towels, toilet paper, I found a huge thing of coffee (YES!!!), I mean, I took our big black table (you know, our dining room table that we've had forever?). Mom made me food. I took two of your posters which were hanging out in the garage (Death Valley and Color of Love, tell me if you had plans to use them). I also took a shelf you never ended up putting in your room. I took a table cloth and the thing you put under it (Mom's doing). I basically cleaned out the house of stuff mom has been collecting for years but that haven't been used in ages. Oh yea, I took a french press, and the food processor (though that's grandma's).

I also saw Brindha!!! Helen, it was SO good to see her. This summer has been very weird in the friends sector, what with the girls both gone, no one from college in town, and other stuff. So seeing her and talking to her, giving her a huge hug (multiples), and hearing her optimism and perspective made leaving for college and starting this semester possible. Also, Joe Biden? What's the scoop? And she brought me back earrings and a hat from Bolivia. I used to think about you know, which friends I'll have forever and which I won't. But I think I'm going to stop thinking about it like that. I don't know whether or not Brindha and I will be friends forever, I just know that right now we have a really wonderful, great relationship. And I can't wait for her to come visit in September and then to come back from Oxford so I can visit her in Stanford again. But I daren't say we'll be friends forever, not because I don't want to, but because sometimes you have to let people go if there isn't the same bond anymore (and create a different type of relationship) and maybe even let new people in, which I've never really thought about because that's scary and tiring. You actually, don't have that leeway, because sisters are a different animal altogether.

I'm ready to write a post that would do this post's title justice, but I think you know what I mean when I say it, so I'm leaving it at is. I know you are going to succeed on Tuesday, and mom and dad know so too. So through brain waves, genetics, and osmosis (just for kicks) you know it too.

Flowers

By Helen

Once upon a time I was in a relationship that had a lot of arguments.  We fought about many things - worthwhile and trivial.

But I distinctly remember times when I was unreasonable and all I wanted was for the guy to smile, hug me, sweetly tell me I'm being irrational and bring me flowers.  Instead we fought even harder and more bitterly.

Anyway, tonight, I was being irrational and unreasonable for no good reason and certainly none that had anything to do with Adam.  At some point during the night, he went out to run an errand for me and came back with a bouquet of flowers.  And he hugged me.

It's amazing just how lucky I am.