A Life Less Ordinary

Golden Gate Bridge

By Irene

Yesterday, Brindha, Emily, and I walked across the Golden Gate Bridge. It's 1.7 miles long in one direction, and the best time to visit is May/June and September/October. The bridge is incredibly majestic, the fog and wind make it only more so. When we started walking across, the San Francisco side wasn't completely enveloped in fog, which we could tell was moving in fast - too bad pictures can't convey movement. It took us about 45 minutes to get across to Marin, which was totally clear - there were a ton of sailboats and people para-sailing, and it was quite nice.

Our trek back was completely in fog, and for some reason, going back to San Francisco was a lot more tiring than going in the other direction. The wind, the loudness of the cars passing by, and the fog all around us was somehow draining. So when we finally reached our car, we were windswept and tired, but happy that we braved it.

 

San Francisco side                                            Marin side

Getting a Break

by Helen

It feels like many friends are going through tough times - lay offs, relationship problems, job troubles, health issues, exhaustion from overworking, etc.

It is at these times that I feel very lucky to be in good health, be surrounded by loving friends, boyfriend and family and have a stable job that I will hopefully choose to leave this coming August. 

What I have learned recently is that play time is over and none of us ever get a break. Even if we do, we don't really know it until after.  So the most I can do is make the best of it every day and every minute because frankly, tomorrow will hopefully be better but realistically, it might be worse. 

I know that sounds pessimistic, but I don't think many of us know how good we have it until the moment is past.  So let us embrace every second for what it is, work through the hardships, rely on friends for strength and comfort and find humor in the day when we get caught in the pouring rain without an umbrella.

Candy cane party

I am preparing for the Candy Cane party tonight.

Friends are coming over and there will be a warm fireplace, a decorated tree, eggnog, lasagna, wine and candy cane making.

Let the holiday season begin!

Post Elections Thoughts

by Helen

This is a message that I received less than a week after the election from a childhood friend on Facebook in a response to a status update that said that I am still proud of being a Republican after I lost 4 out of 4 races this November (not counting John McCain's race):

Subject line: unbelievable

You are proud to be a Republican?? For what exactly? For putting our economy in the toilet, an illegal war and consequent occupation (including destruction of Iraqi infrastructure, the murder of 100,000 innocent Iraqi civilians and thousands of US troops, etc.), for lying and manipulating the country for years on countless issues? Aren't you guys the party of personal responsibility? How about taking some for once?

---------------------

I received this email as I was landing in Hawaii and did not think it was necessary to reply to it seeing as I was beginning to feel the warm air and the aloha spirit. 

I lost all four races this cycle - my worst political record to date.

3 of the races came as no surprise in a year like this one

And the last one, the race for State Rep in Washington State I was pretty bummed about. I worked really hard and had the better candidate who walked 19,000 homes in the last year.  We ran the better program, the better campaign, etc.  And while the candidate has closed the gap and is now only down 500 votes, he will not pull it off.

That's the hard one for me - when you clearly have the better candidate who would do a better job, but when you get caught up in the tide, all politics is not local and sometimes it's quite national.   But I do take responsibility by not only working in politics, but also volunteering for candidates I believe in.  For those who I think will make our country a better place. I wonder if every critic out there, can say the same thing.

Of course Teddy Roosevelt's quote comes to mind,

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

So my status update was there to encourage all of my friends and colleagues who have sacrificed months of their lives for the candidates they believed in, who lost sleep, impacted their relationships with their loved ones, took pay cuts and are all job hunting right now.  The campaign path is not an easy one and I respect those who take it and hope that everyone gets up after wins and most importantly after losses.

I do take the questioning of my judgment for supporting John McCain and the Republican ticket very personally and very seriously. After all, I think in a democracy, we have a right to have different opinions of what is best for this country and how to get there.  I think the beauty of it all is that we have elections every two years so when and if the American people are unhappy, they have an opportunity and an obligation to change the course that the country is on.  Nothing in America is permanent.  And I have seen nothing but class and respect from President Bush and the First Lady to the President-Elect and his wife during this transition period. 

So yes, I continue to stand tall and be proud of being a Republican at a time when having that label is as unpopular as it was after Watergate.  And I do appreciate all the people in my life who have reached out and asked me how I'm doing after the election and all the kind emails and good articles I have gotten from friends who don't agree with me politically but respect me for what I do.

Seattle Fun in the Rain

by Helen

Last weekend Rikesha was in town and we had all sorts of fun.

We started out on Friday at dinner at the 22 Doors where we fulfilled the cosmopolitan requirement for the evening, then went to Cupcake Royale where we had coffee and cupcakes. 

On Saturday, we started our day at Seattle Works where we painted an apartment, then we went to the Ave where we looked at art (more on that later) and had lunch at Thai Tom - best Thai food in town. 

After that we went back to Kirkland where we spent time at the Kahili Coffee Shop reading the hilarious Stranger and then went down to the water front.  Oh yeah - side not, very rainy weekend - Seattle was in full character - rainy, drizzly, grumpy, which led to a large need for coffee.

Later we proceeded to try to make it to the Theo Chocolate tour but we failed due to the rain and general slowness that we were all experiencing.  Instead we just bought lots of chocolate and then went to another coffee shop to have a snack before dinner.

    

Dinner in downtown was nice - we had cosmos that were excellent during the first round, but sort of mediocre second time around so we sent them back (when I saw we bravely, I mean Rikesha).  After dinner, we went to the symphony to listen to a celebration of Big Band. After a quick stop at Kerry Park for the night view of Seattle, we headed home for Wine and WII followed by an abrupt sleep.

  

Sunday we headed to brunch at Kingfish - THE soul food place in Seattle apparently.  Food was yummy and the place was warm and cozy.  Then we stopped at Stumptown, one of the best coffee places in Seattle. 

   

We finished off the late morning with a visit to Pike's Place and Seattle Coffee Works. Once Rikesha got to the airport and got on the plane, the sun came out.  Of course.

It was a fun trip that also inspired me to decorate my apartment because of a really cute prints and framing store that we found by UDUB.

Thank God for Mom

By Irene

Packing the car up for hopefully the last time was sort of like shopping without having to pay for anything. I gathered: canned food, towels, knifes and forks, drinking glasses, a pan, paper towels, toilet paper, I found a huge thing of coffee (YES!!!), I mean, I took our big black table (you know, our dining room table that we've had forever?). Mom made me food. I took two of your posters which were hanging out in the garage (Death Valley and Color of Love, tell me if you had plans to use them). I also took a shelf you never ended up putting in your room. I took a table cloth and the thing you put under it (Mom's doing). I basically cleaned out the house of stuff mom has been collecting for years but that haven't been used in ages. Oh yea, I took a french press, and the food processor (though that's grandma's).

I also saw Brindha!!! Helen, it was SO good to see her. This summer has been very weird in the friends sector, what with the girls both gone, no one from college in town, and other stuff. So seeing her and talking to her, giving her a huge hug (multiples), and hearing her optimism and perspective made leaving for college and starting this semester possible. Also, Joe Biden? What's the scoop? And she brought me back earrings and a hat from Bolivia. I used to think about you know, which friends I'll have forever and which I won't. But I think I'm going to stop thinking about it like that. I don't know whether or not Brindha and I will be friends forever, I just know that right now we have a really wonderful, great relationship. And I can't wait for her to come visit in September and then to come back from Oxford so I can visit her in Stanford again. But I daren't say we'll be friends forever, not because I don't want to, but because sometimes you have to let people go if there isn't the same bond anymore (and create a different type of relationship) and maybe even let new people in, which I've never really thought about because that's scary and tiring. You actually, don't have that leeway, because sisters are a different animal altogether.

I'm ready to write a post that would do this post's title justice, but I think you know what I mean when I say it, so I'm leaving it at is. I know you are going to succeed on Tuesday, and mom and dad know so too. So through brain waves, genetics, and osmosis (just for kicks) you know it too.

Change

It's interesting how friendships change over the years.  What happened to the best friend from kindergarten?  Are you still close? Or are you almost like two strangers bound by memories and not much else.

Or did you grow apart but kind of always know you can come back and it is like no time has passed?

I feel like my friendships for college are more absolute - more black and white.  We grew together then and the expectation is that we stay the same.  As things change, personalities develop and people go  in the chosen direction, that common ground turns out to be not so common sometimes.

It seems that my friendships after college are more dynamic and understanding but also probably less deep.  These aren't the people who knew me when I was growing and developing - but are now the people who see me as I am.

I also have noticed that some of my current friendships are stemming from professional relationships first so that makes it different from a purely personal encounter because we can't exactly dismiss each other or be too hard on each other because we work together.

I always look forward to seeing my old friends from college.  I know their little quirks and all the family names.  I remember some very important moments in their lives.  But sometimes I worry that a lot of judgment comes with those friendships. 

"You are not who I thought you were" or "You've changed" somehow sounds like a bad thing - but don't we all change and adapt...I definitely think so.

Very Grateful

It's Thanksgiving.  I believe that Thanksgiving is especially an immigrant's holiday.  In my family, we always do a toast to America on this day.  Not that I would know because I'm not at home for Thanksgiving all that often. 

But I am very thankful for a great many things this year. 

A Lot Going On

It seems since I last posted a lot has happened, but really just life in all its forms.

In a nutshell - I went to Hawaii, a girl I knew at the Daily Bruin died from college died in a car crash, went to a wedding, and now most of Southern California is burning down.

Hawaii

It was interesting and educational.  It kind of felt like I was visiting a very hospitable country.  Lots of people welcomed me, knew who I was, took me around to various eating establishments, etc.  I saw Pearl Harbor.  It was very well made.  Very respectful.  Reminded me a little bit of how the Memorial Park is done in Hiroshima actually.  Except, Japan has actually been in real combat with a war on its soil a lot more than the US has been.  But that's more of a blessing than a flaw for the United States. 

I really liked Leonard's and the Malasadas that they served.  I actually found a place in Sherman Oaks where they serve these Portuguese (actually Russian, but what do they know) donuts.

All and all, I'm glad I went there.  Though now I know not to vacation in Honolulu, but just go there for work.  It is not relaxing to watch lots of cars and business buildings as you are trying to walk on the beach.  Something more remote is probably the way to go.

Bridget O'Brien

She was the photo editor at the Daily Bruin when I was there.  I never got into the Daily Bruin like the rest of the people did who were there.  It turned out that the people I was surrounded by, ended up going on to do great things - become journalists, world travelers, etc.  They were definitely in the group of campus leaders that were few and far between. It is very sad to watch someone great pass

While I was not at all close with Bridget and feel almost as an intruder reading all the comments on the page dedicated to her, I am so very aware and sad of how fragile life is.  Makes me hope that I am living my life to the fullest.  I keep thinking about it - and I think I am.  I am always on the go, always doing stuff and seeing people.  I think I want to keep being brutally honest with people and say what I think when asked.  So that no one can accuse me of being a falsity and anything but being true to myself and people around me. 

Wedding

The great thing about weddings is that I think they show progress.  Life moves on and continues.  A wedding is a step forward in a life of two people.  There were many beautiful sunsets that night.  And many shades of purple in various reincarnations. 

You pointed it out to me that I look very Russian in that picture.  I think that's probably very true.  Something about big furs and red hair I guess.  Though Chris called me Cruella De Vil.  I like that one too.

Fires

San Diego, Orange County, Santa Clarita, Malibu - are all on fire.  Some more than others. Yesterday momentarily, the tv screens showed that the fire is headed toward Porter Ranch.  I sat there and briefly contemplated what I would take with me if I had to evacuate. To be honest, I'm not sure if I gave it a serious amount of thought, other than coming to a conclusion that I'm a fairly materialistic person.  I am also hoping that the Wild Animal Park will reopen by Thanksgiving.

All and all life is fine.  Moving forward.  It was great to see you this weekend in Cal. 

Friendships

Irka,

I've been thinking about my friends lately.  I keep looking at the re-occurring pictures in my iPhoto and I see the same repeating four smiles.  This group of us that has been created over the years did not at all happen over night and yet they are all people I met in college.  In fact, if you would have asked me my freshman, sophomore or even junior year - never in a million years I would have predicted that the four of us would become as tightly knit as we are today.

Sure we squabble.  We argue. We lead different lives and at times have different priorities.  However, at the end of the day, the bonds we formed over the last four, five and six years are the ties that keep us together.  After all this, it isn't about having an amazing freshman year floor or hanging out with the same people through the years...and I don't even know in retrospect how the friendships of this strength came about. 

I think it was a lot of patience and effort.  Politics have never helped (campus or real life ones), but even that obstacle has pretty much been turned into a minor set of jokes. 

At the end of the day, I would do anything for these people.  And there are not that many I could say that about.  Who would have thought....